


Lethe

by Salems_luc



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alpha Sebastian, M/M, Omega Ciel Phantomhive, Omegaverse, Sebastian with memory lost, They're Mates, for now, loose The Vow au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 19:30:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17086346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salems_luc/pseuds/Salems_luc
Summary: Ciel sat among the over abundance of pheromones, hands fisted so tight that his nails created crescent indents in his palms. The omega was a bundle of nerves. Of worries. He stood, paced, sat down. Repeated the cycle for the hundredth time since they’d taken Sebastian in for surgery. As much as he’d begged, pleaded with his knees on the filthy hospital ground and his hands clasped together, the doctors and nurses had refused to let him come in. Fuck them. He could buy this entire hospital and fire all of them if he wanted. His anger was getting the best of him. He stood again, fumed.





	Lethe

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is already on my tumblr @chaotic-orangegod as Lethe parts 1-3.

Ciel sat among the over abundance of pheromones, hands fisted so tight that his nails created crescent indents in his palms. The omega was a bundle of nerves. Of worries. He stood, paced, sat down. Repeated the cycle for the hundredth time since they’d taken Sebastian in for surgery. As much as he’d begged, pleaded with his knees on the filthy hospital ground and his hands clasped together, the doctors and nurses had refused to let him come in. Fuck them. He could buy this entire hospital and fire all of them if he wanted. His anger was getting the best of him. He stood again, fumed.

It was supposed to be a _fun_ day at sea. They’d taken Mr. Midford’s boat out. Lizzy had said she knew how to steer, had watched Edward do it dozens of times before. Sieglinde had a manual in her lap, hands around a plastic bag just in case sea-sickness got to her. Sebastian and Ciel had been on the deck, discussing whether or not they should get another cat.

The storm had come seemingly out of nowhere. It’d shoved the boat sideways, tipped Ciel and Sebastian into the cold ocean water. Ciel had been lucky, managed to grab onto a lifejacket in time, but Sebastian was tousled by the waves. They swept him against jagged rocks, sticking out from the water like knives.

The men that came for them weren’t sure Sebastian would make it, but they kept quiet when they saw the look on Ciel’s face. Hell, _he_ wasn’t sure Sebastian would make it. He had a concussion, multiple broken bones, water in his lungs.

The doctors told Ciel alphas healed fast. _Go home. We’ll call you when he’s out. Alphas heal fast._ Ciel had been waiting for hours. Fast was Usain Bolt in the Olympics. Fast was Sebastian taking three eggs from the fridge and putting an omelette in front of Ciel before the omega could even blink. Fast was them falling in love and knowing they were destined to be mates.

Ciel wanted to throw something at the wall. He wanted to throw a tantrum, to stomp around and scream and cry and bang his fists on _something_ . _Anything_. Tear this entire waiting room down and shred it to pieces. It was nothing but a room of misery and time oozing by like a slug on a summer day. He hated it. Hated it more than the boat. The ocean. The lifevest that drifted to him and not Sebastian. 

Why had it drifted to him and not Sebastian?

Finally finally finally, a nurse came running down the hall, her gloves bloody and her scrubs the same. Ciel knew it was Sebastian’s. She met his eyes and smiled, and his heart leapt from his chest. He had to chase it down the long hallway and pass the metal doors and into a dimly lit room where Sebastian was lying with his eyes closed. The nurse came scrambling in after him, sans gloves.

She rattled off about numbers and statistics, about maybes and averages. But Ciel wasn’t listening. He stood by his mate, fingers intertwined even though Sebastian was still in a medicated sleep. His pheromones surged, overtook the other scents in the room. They pushed at the nurse until she took the hint and left the mates alone.

Ciel pulled a chair up to Sebastian’s bed, noting that the room was too small and stuffy. He took a seat, feeling not so restless anymore. The steady beeping of the machines was oddly calming, as was Sebastian’s steady breathing.

Ciel would have waited days for Sebastian to wake up, never once leaving the hospital. But he didn’t have to wait long. In a couple of hours, the alpha opened his eyes. They were that familiar mahogany. They reminded Ciel of homemade breakfast and midnight cuddles. He smiled, couldn’t stop smiling, and caressed his mate’s cheek with his hand. His touch was warm, and Sebastian leaned into it.

“Morning,” Ciel said, reaching over to call a nurse. He could feel Sebastian’s eyes following his movement. It made his skin tingle.

“Good morning.” His voice was rough, as expected. He was frowning, as if just talking took too much of a toll. Ciel held his hand, and smoothed out his sheets. When he asked Sebastian what he wanted for breakfast, inserting a snarky side note about hospital food, the alpha stared at him in confusion. “I’m sorry, but who are you?”   


* * *

 

Who are you? Who are you? Ciel replayed those words in his head a dozen times and still couldn’t shake the chills that came with them. The doctors said it might take a while for his memory to come back, that this was common with head injuries, that they were lucky Sebastian woke at all.

Lucky was not the word Ciel first thought of. It wasn’t even close. And worse of all, when Sebastian’s perpetually frantic mother and constantly grumbling father exploded into the room, the alpha had recognized them. Ciel felt somewhat guilty for being angry that Sebastian knew his parents and not his mate. They were his _parents_ for god’s sake. Then again, Ciel was Sebastian’s _mate_. His forever. His other half. His omega.

Sebastian needed a few more days in the hospital, so Ciel sent one of his assistants home to fetch some clothes, toothbrushes, and other necessities. Then he stood awkwardly at the door and waited for Mr. and Mrs. Michaelis to shuffle out of the room. They ignored him as they pass. Of course. He was still “the upper class scum that took their son away from them”.

Once they were gone, Ciel sat by Sebastian’s side and watched him as he ate. His ribs were bruised purple, his knuckles bandaged, and he wore a cast over one arm. He refused to be fed however, and subjected Ciel to being a bystander to his disastrous meal.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” The doctors had already asked this question, but maybe this time the answer would be different. Ciel needed it to be different.

Sebastian winced as he sat back, pushing his tray to the side. Soup had spilled on his blanket and he uselessly dabbed at it with a napkin. “Um, Christmas at Mally’s house. I was in the middle of cutting a pie I’d made…” He drifted off, frowning. “I do remember you!”

Ciel sprang to his feet, immediately taking hold of Sebastian’s hand and ready to cry out in joy. But the alpha pulled away, still frowning.

“You’re Vincent’s son. You showed up with strippers and drugs. My boss was there, you asshole.” Ciel remembered. He remembered the disaster of a party, Mally’s lecture afterwards. That night had been the beginning of a lot of things.

“That was two years ago, Seb.”

“You got me _fired_.” Ciel resisted the urge to roll his eyes. They’d already had this fight, already moved on. And of course Sebastian did not remember the following day, when Ciel hired him to work at Phantom Industry, a job that paid five times as much as his previous one.

“I’m sorry.” Sebastian shook his head, sat up straighter. The alpha had always been stubborn. Ciel reached across Sebastian’s chest to fix his pillow, and when his wrist passed Sebastian’s nose, he felt the alpha tense up. “What is it?” he asked gently.

“Y-your scent.” Nobody had told him. In the frantic realization of Sebastian’s amnesia, nobody had told him he had a mate. Ciel didn’t think now was the right time. He didn’t know _when_ the right time would be. There was no book on how to handle these sort of things.

At a loss for words, Ciel took Sebastian’s fingers and guided them to the back of his neck. The omega’s skin was rough there, raised and indented with teeth marks. A bond mark. 

Sebastian touched his own neck, brows furrowed in disbelief. He had a mate. Ciel Phantomhive was his omega. This boy… The only things Sebastian knew about him was that he was rich, had a reputation for sleeping around, and was extremely arrogant. It was his fault Sebastian lost his job, the job he’d practically begged his boss to let him have. And somehow, in the span of two years now completely wiped from his memory, he’d made Ciel his mate.

“Was it by accident?” The words carelessly flew from his mouth. Ciel stared at him, wide eyed and clearly hurt. The omega shifted uncomfortably in his seat, then stood up abruptly.

“Am I _that_ hideous?” he asked, grinning. His eyes were dark, did not match the expression on his lips. Sebastian replied _no, of course not_ , worried he’d made Ciel angry. The omega stood with his back to Sebastian at the only window in the room. It was raining outside, from what Sebastian could tell of the small sliver of glass not blocked by the blinds.

The terrifying thought occurred to him that he didn’t know what city he was in, what state, where he lived now, where he worked. He began to sit up, only to double over in a coughing fit. His lungs were burning.

They spent the next few days going over logistics, familiarizing Sebastian with his daily routine (which the doctor said he should stick to as it would help his memory). On the day he finally got the okay from his doctor to leave the hospital, Ciel found him sitting on the floor by his unpacked bag, head in his hands.

Ciel fell to the floor beside him, picking up a discarded shirt to bundle in his own lap. “If you want to stay a bit longer,” he started,” I can talk to them.”

“No. I want to go home.” Ciel didn’t know which “home” Sebastian meant, but he nodded anyway.

The house was quiet, waiting with bated breath as Sebastian hesitated on the front porch. The interior was modern, and decorated nicer than he’d expected of Ciel. Expensive paintings decorated the foyer and a navy blue carpet spread itself out in the middle of a connecting living room. Something about the house, despite its too-large size and pristine, uptight-looking, decor, was welcoming.

It took five minutes for Sebastian to find his room. Ciel’s room. _Their_ room. He shut the door behind him. The car ride had been awkward, and Sebastian was looking forward to some time by himself. No matter where he went, he could feel Ciel close by. The omega did not know how suffocating he was being.

Sebastian threw his sweatshirt off and onto a nearby chair, then flopped onto the giant bed.  

The bed smelled like lavender and black tea and vanilla. He buried his face in the sheets, curled his arms around one of the pillows (the one that smelled significantly better than the others), and sighed. So this was “home”. It was different from his apartment in the city with its tiny windows and chipping paint.

In the car he had been anxious and worried, but this room was relaxing, unbelievably calming. He let it wash over him. The rest of the house was the same, though none of it was familiar to him, everything screamed home to his senses.

When it came to bedtime, Ciel offered to sleep in the guest room after seeing the reluctance on Sebastian’s face. The bed was big. They probably could share it without touching each other, but Sebastian still felt awkward about sleeping next to a stranger. He had his face buried in the good smelling pillow when Ciel came into the room with an apology, saying something about needing to grab his things.

The omega came out of the connecting bathroom with his toothbrush and a cup, then stood at the end of the bed with an expression that looked like he was trying to hold back a smile.

“What?” Sebastian asked.

“Um, that’s my pillow.” Ciel held up his hands when Sebastian scrambled to give it back to him. “Nah, it’s alright. I have a bunch in the other room.” The alpha’s face was red and he wished Ciel would leave already. “If you need anything, I’m right across the hall, okay?” He turned and headed for the door, but before Sebastian could let go of the breath he was holding, Ciel spun around.

His bottom lip was red from being bitten, and his eyes were on his socks covered feet. “S’okay if I take this?” Ciel asked, fingers tightly gripping Sebastian’s crumpled sweatshirt. The alpha nodded, unsure, and earned a bright smile in reply.

When two in the morning rolled around, Sebastian tiptoed down to the kitchen for a drink of water and found Ciel asleep in the living room. The omega’s hair was a mess, shaggy strands covering his eyelids. His lips, red and wet, were partly open, and he was drooling.

Sebastian’s fingers itched to sweep Ciel’s hair from his eyes, so he made a fist of his hands and kept them at his side, stubbornly. Ciel was wearing his sweatshirt. _Just_ his sweatshirt. It was big enough to keep him modest, but seeing Ciel dressed this way, wearing _his_ clothes, made Sebastian feel things he didn’t know he could feel about Ciel Phantomhive.

This was the boy he’d never gotten along with. The boy he’d only met because they shared mutual friends. Ciel was everything Sebastian was not. Temperamental, impulsive, narcissistic. How could he look so fragile and beautiful while drooling in his sleep?

Sebastian bent down, tried to move Ciel into a more comfortable sleeping position, and tripped over the blanket on the floor. He hissed in pain, limbs tangled with the omega’s. The couch was big enough for the both of them, which was good because Sebastian’s ribs hurt too much for him to move right now. Ciel curled around him and settled into what Sebastian assumed is their normal sleeping position, based on how extremely comfortable he was feeling despite the shooting pain in his midsection.

The omega nuzzled his head against Sebastian’s shoulder, mumbled something in his sleep. He smelled even better than his pillow. Sebastian wrapped an arm around Ciel, instinctively holding him closer, and prayed he wakes up before Ciel does when morning comes.   

 

* * *

 

Sebastian looked up from his sorting when Ciel entered the kitchen. He was still wearing Sebastian’s sweatshirt, though he had on a pair of boxers underneath. They peeked out when he rubbed his eyes.

Photographs and albums covered the kitchen island entirely. Sebastian had found them in one of the drawers when he’d been rummaging earlier. There were more, but these were all he could carry. He’d tried to put them in chronological order but was stuck on the ones taken at the Grand Canyon. Ciel looked so grumpy in them, a hat covering his sunburnt face.

Wordlessly, Ciel took the photos from Sebastian’s hands and placed them between Christmas 2017 and New Year’s.

“It was our one year anniversary. Literally the most painful trip ever. I was covered in aloe vera for two whole _weeks.”_ Ciel fixed the placement of a few other pictures. “You got them mostly right. Nice job.” Sebastian flinched when Ciel pulled him into a hug.

Ciel worked from home for the rest of the week and Sebastian did his best to stick to his routine. They didn’t sleep together again.

Nothing very significant happened until two weeks later, when Malley and a couple of people Sebastian didn’t recognize but Ciel clearly did poured into the house. They asked Sebastian about his accident, about his memory, about themselves, like he was some contestant on “Who’s This”. He ended up hiding in the backyard and swatting off mosquitoes.

“You okay?” It was Malley, a long time friend and the girl he’d dated in high school. She took a seat next to him, a glass of champagne in her hand. As far as Sebastian knew, Malley was all he and Ciel had in common. “Sorry we overwhelmed you,” she said. She took his hand, which was no longer in a cast now. Her finger traced the scar left by the accident.

“I’m fine.” Being next to her was calming. Not surrounded by the scent of his omega calming, but still. It helped being around someone he actually remembered, knew. Even if she looked different now.

She stayed in town and he stuck to her side for the rest of the month, despite Ciel insisting he should keep to his routine. The more time Sebastian spent with Malley, the more he felt like he’d made a mistake and the accident was the universe’s way of letting him fix it. And then he would go home, to Ciel who smiled even though happiness didn’t reach his eyes, and Sebastian would be confused all over again.

Maybe this wasn’t a message from the universe. Maybe the universe didn’t give out messages in the form of life altering events. Maybe the universe didn’t give out messages at all.

Sebastian walked into the bedroom Ciel had been sleeping in, and found a pile of his clothes on the bed, organized into a lump of shirts and sweatshirts. There was even a tie, red and silky, tangled in the bundle of clothes. A Ciel-shaped indent made the clothes into some sort of weird, otherworldly donut.

“Oh. Uh, did you need me?” Ciel asked, coming out of the adjoining bathroom. His hair was wet and he smelled like soap, like not-Ciel. Sebastian wrinkled his nose.

“No.” He didn’t remember why he’d came in here, why he’d gone looking for the omega. _His_ omega. “Are these mine?” He pointed to the pile of clothes, and Ciel visually straightened. He held the towel to his wet hair and kept it there, eyes wide and cheeks suddenly red.

“Yeah. Omegas nest.” He quickly started to scramble the clothes together, shoving them into a nearby, partially full, laundry hamper. “I get a bit anxious,” he stuttered, “and your scent helps. You haven’t scent me in a while, and that’s okay cause, you know. But I, um, I like sleeping with… Sorry.” The clothes didn’t fit. They spilled onto the floor and Ciel had to push them back into the hamper.

“Do you want me to scent you?” To be honest, the pillows in his bedroom no longer smelled like Ciel. They smelled like Sebastian’s own sweat, then he’d changed the pillowcase so now they smelled like soap. Ciel shook his head.

“Not if you’re not comfortable with it,” he said. He was only wearing a bathrobe. Its tie was coming loose. Sebastian took his wrists, which were thin and pale, like he hadn’t been eating. And his were tired, bruised, like he hadn’t been sleeping. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” he said, softer this time.

Sebastian brought Ciel’s wrists to either side of his neck, where his scent glands pulsed with want. Oil began to coat where their skin touched, and the scent of it was enough to make Sebastian’s knees wobble. He sat on the bed, so he wouldn’t fall, and pulled Ciel with him, into his lap.

Omegas had scent glands between their thighs. Sebastian slid his hands up Ciel’s bathrobe, pressed his wrists against Ciel’s inner thighs, and delighted in the way the omega trembled and purred. Ciel dropped his head on Sebastian’s shoulder, and nuzzled their necks together. He cried out when Sebastian’s fingers brushed against his cock. Slick was starting to drip between his legs.

Sebastian knew he would regret it, but he kissed Ciel anyway. Lips wet and desperate. They fell back on the bed, bodies intertwined. Sebastian held Ciel so close to him, and it still was not enough. He squeezed until Ciel whimpered in pain, then he stopped. Ciel’s mouth tasted like cherries, the sweet orange and yellow ones. Summer cherries.

“I love you, Sebastian,” Ciel said. _I love you. I love you._ He said it so many times none of the words were words at all. They’d messed into this ball of guilt and confusion, and the ball grinded itself into Sebastian’s stomach until it took place beside his lungs and he could no longer breathe.

_I love you, Sebastian._

_Okay_.

What else could he have said. He didn’t love Ciel. He didn’t remember loving Ciel. He knew the omega was crying, and that he was trying to keep it secret. He’d buried his face against Sebastian’s chest and had tightened his hands into fists.

_I love you._

_Okay._

And that was how they fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Remember to leave kudos and comments! They'll inspire me to write faster ; )


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